I’m putting my big girl panties on and writing about something that has been controlling my life for too long…anxiety. Yep, that bastard has ruined a lot of moments & experiences for me…the latest of which was our big night out to a concert…kid free!
I was pretty excited to be off to see Florida Georgia Line…even though they’re not my normal type of music, my husband loves them and they had grown on me. And these sorts of artists NEVER come up our way (love FNQ but we do miss a lot). Hubby and I dropped the kids off at his mum’s, had a lovely day in Cairns together, got ready for the concert…and bam! It hit me.
There was a build up to this though, and I’d missed all the signs. This was the same day that the tragic shootings happened over in New Zealand. My brother was over there, he was on the other island, completely safe and was actually the one to tell me about what was happening. But it was too close to home. I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
We went shopping for a couple of hours, I had 3 Westcoast Coolers over a 4 hour period in the afternoon (if you’ve ever had them you’ll know they are less than 1 standard drink…so bugger all really), but I’ve come to realise since then that alcohol seems to trigger my anxiety. We had a few friends in our room just before we were to leave for the concert. It was at this point that I started to feel something was wrong.
I felt sick, my heart was racing and I had this overwhelming feeling of doom and gloom. I had to keep going to the toilet…I was starting to panic…we had to leave for the concert any minute! This was the point that I realised I was going to miss out. I didn’t fully realise my anxiety was taking over and I was having a bit of an attack. I thought I’d just gotten sick.
And that was that. My poor hubby waited around to see if I’d come good but in the end I sent him off without me. Then I was overwhelmingly tired and went to sleep at 8.30pm…I’m a real nightowl so this is very unusual for me.
In hindsight, I should have had a quiet afternoon by myself. I should have used my oils, I should have done some breathing exercises, had a bath…anything to help me come back to feeling myself. I had been feeling so good and on top of my anxiety, I didn’t expect it to hit me so hard so fast. And it’s been a battle ever since.
But now that I’m aware that I’m struggling, I can take steps to help me avoid having such an attack again. When I feel the panic creeping in, I start some breathing exercises. Breath in slowly through the nose for the count of 4, hold for 2 and exhale through the lips for 6. Repeat a few times over.
Of course I use my essential oils too. Peace Reassuring Blend is my absolute lifesaver go-to. I roll it over my heart chakra, behind my ears and on my wrists then take some deep inhalations. Balance Grounding Blend daily in the morning is also a huge help. And who could forget about Frankincense…this deeply grounding oil is amazing at bringing me back to a feeling of peace.
There are so many essential oils that are supportive to our emotions and they have been a huge part in the massive changes I’ve experienced in the past 18 months or so. I also like to use a technique called tapping/EFT. If you’ve never heard of it then go to YouTube and search Brad Yates anxiety. I thought it looked a bit airy fairy and silly when I first learned about it, but it is actually a magnificent tool to use for all areas of your mindset.
Anyway, it took me a few weeks to really figure out what happened that night. I was actually embarrassed to admit that I’d missed this fantastic night out because of my own mind. Literally half of our home town was at that concert and out afterwards! I was so looking forward to it, but obviously hadn’t taken the necessary steps to ensure I could handle it.
I decided to suck it up and write this blog because I myself try to talk about my anxiety openly to try and help others who are struggling, realise that it’s so common….yet I felt embarrassed to talk about the fact that it had taken over and ruined something that I had looked forward to for so long. So here I am talking about it, and if I can help just one person then it was worth it.
Anxiety is nothing to be embarrassed about or ashamed of. We didn’t ask for it, but here we are dealing with it. Learn some tools to help you when it’s getting too much, take time out for yourself when you need it…and talk about it. Feel free to email me, even if I don’t know you from a bar of soap…sometimes that might even be better for you, talking to someone you don’t know.
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